I’ve got to find me some chickens that ain’t had corn. I’m dying for an egg up in this piece.

IAN L CHENEY

All the big dairies seem to keep their cows in confinement and feed them lots of corn… but Organic Valley reports:

Each cow is required to have 3 acres of pasture and be on it whenever possible. When it’s not possible, they’re fed a ration of 80% hay, and 20% grains — wheat, oats, sorghum, soybeans, “and a little corn.”

I’m looking for an alternative, but think I might be able to get away with a tablespoon of milk in my tea when I wake up.

C

I’ve actually been mixing diatomaceous earth with water to make a creamy paste. Great in coffee, just like non-dairy creamer but with less corn! And very Mediterranean.

Ian

Had the soy milk today…
it was free from additives but tasted like silt.

C

Watch out — turns out some fruits and veggies are coated with a wax derived from corn…yikes!

What about soy milk?

-ILC

Jeez…no milk in my tea this morning.

-C.

All right buster, I accept the challenge.

But just to make it interesting, let’s get our hair tested after the month is through, and see who really made November corn-free.

Your friend,

IAN

So I’ve decided to see if it’s possible:

I’m not going to eat corn for a month.
In any form. Starting today.

That means no corn-fed hamburgers. No corn-sweetened juice. No corn-oiled salad dressings. Not even my beloved mono- and diglycerides! Frankly, I’m not sure if I can do it. Corn is in nearly every food that comes from a restaurant or a package, and I’m going to be in my home kitchen for less than half of November. The waiters are gonna love me.

I will make one exception to the rule, and allow myself to eat corn on the cob, fresh, as nature intended it. It’s not that I think corn is bad, but the ubiquity of processed corn is a measure of how industrialized our food system has become. And trying to live outside the corn kingdom — without going broke­­ — ­should make the next 30 days pretty interesting. Think of it as Super Size Me… in reverse.

But I’m not the only one who gets this question about whether I’ve changed my diet.

Ian? Do you read these posts? Time to put up or shut up, buddy — I dare you to make November a corn-free month too.

And for the rest of you out there? Join the King Corn Challenge…if you think you can make it.