King Corn Challenge

Hello Midnight!

ian — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 08:01:03 +0000

My old friend, it’s time to corn with you again.

Like Shackleton…

curt — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 19:35:12 +0000

After 272 days stuck in the Antarctic ice, there were only forty lumps of sugar left for each man in Shackleton’s expedition, and no rescue in sight. Although the men stayed relatively healthy on diets of seaweed and seals, they craved fats and sugars, donuts in particular. They stayed awake late into the night discussing what sort of treats they would eat if they ever got home…

Good News from the North

ian — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 16:24:33 +0000

Otis -

Well, I did read the label on the potato chip bag, and it said “sunflower oil.” I don’t think they make sunflower oil out of animals, but I guess our hair test will tell all. That’s not surprising that I’m more corn than you are — I eat more processed foods! Always have, but not as much this month. Although I do have this creepy sensation that corn is sneaking into my diet. Maybe while I’m asleep — I’ve been going to bed hungry enough that I probably wander around sleepwalking, eating corn out of the cupboards (polenta? baking soda? that box of corn starch? ) when I ought to be wandering the land of nod and counting corn-fed sheep.

Anyway, some good news: my neighbor in Maine called. He’s got 2.5 pounds of wild turkey breast (he shot it this spring) in the freezer with my name on it. Unless that turkey was snacking in the field of sweet corn down the road, it’ll be a corn-free Thursday.

Giving thanks for great neighbors and the woods of Maine,

Ian

From the expert…

curt — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 22:07:01 +0000

Hey buddy, this just in from hair-testing scientist Steve Macko:

I was reading the blog… BTW- Potato chips can be fried in a mixture of corn oil or animal fats from corn fed animals.

– Steve

He offered to test our hair again, so I think we’ll find out soon enough how much your little indiscretion cost you…

Also, Steve looked up our original data, and said our first hair tests showed me as 52% corn carbon, and you as 58% corn carbon. That raises some important questions — what the heck were you eating when I was asleep, and is there some kind of handicap in the Challenge, or is the winner just whoever has the lowest raw percentage of corn in our new test?

I remain,

Curtis

not legit

ian — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 03:57:46 +0000

CurtlesLambs eat corns? Doggone.Look, if we could eat pasture-raised turkey, then we could eat pasture raised chickens, eggs, milks, hams…Today I got so hungry looking for corn-free foods in DC that I ate an entire bag of potato chips. Good lord.Ian

Corn-Fed Boys

curt — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 05:49:46 +0000

Hey Chief, Watch out for those corn-fed lambs! They’re out there… and they’re not labeled. Did you see this article on pastured turkeys in the NY Times? They’re not corn-free, but they do get to eat bugs and wander around… I’d like to try one and see if they’re as good as everybody says they are. Is that legit? I’m back in the airports and dragging around a half loaf of bread for food. Corn-based yeast be damned. I baked it myself.Curty J

the meat that we eat

ian — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 19:20:17 +0000

Curt

Strangely, I’m not attracted to your hummus pie. But I’ll try it. Currently I’m working on tracking down a wild turkey from one of our neighbors in Maine. Turkey season is springtime, but I’m crossing my fingers that somebody has one in the freezer. Otherwise I’m thinking that venison or cod (or alewife?) would be an accurate early American protein source for Thanksgiving.

I’ve been eating more red meat on this corn-free diet than I was before. I’ve had extraordinary luck finding grass-fed beef (next to the RR station in Brattleboro, VT a few days ago) and have doggedly pursued lamb dinners. When I got back to South Boston yesterday I went straight to the supermarket to stock up, and came home with buffalo, haddock, and leg of lamb. Also more oatmeal. I’ve never eaten so much dang oatmeal.

Also, my girlfriend made some “corn-free” brownies but I don’t buy it. Sodium bicarbonate, natural flavors…I smell a cob. (I ate the brownies anyway. Who wouldn’t? A stronger man than I, perhaps.)

Your friend,

Ian

Corn-Free Pecan Pie

curt — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 06:09:55 +0000

Hey Buddy -

Thanksgiving’s a comin’!

Check this out:

1/2 C Maple Syrup
1/2 tea Cinnamon
1 T Arrow Root
2 T Tahini
2 1/2 C Pecans

Blend wet ingredients, stir in pecans, bake 25 minutes at 350.
I swear you can’t taste the tahini.

Tofurky Day

ian — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:01:58 +0000

Maybe we should get together and have a lousy Thanksgiving. My mother is not amused.

ILC

Chicken Little

curt — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 21:00:21 +0000

I think it’s going to be very hard, but for godsakes I hope you succeed.

curtis